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25 March 2008
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really, i want to give up whatever i'm doing now and crawl into a deep black hole and suffocate to death there. i cried like fuck earlier, cos life is seriously shit.how dare life dangle me with happiness only to snatch it back when i'm plunging for it - leaving me to fall to the pit? i get angrier by the minute, sicker of life and more disappointed. i'm not disappointed that i have no happiness to begin with, but rather at the fact fucking life decided to make fun of me. it isn't funny anymore when i keep facing hard times in my life. it used to be funny at one point, but now it isn't anymore. i want to kick and whine, and cry my heart out. i have not cried that bad like i did just now since 3 years ago. the heart, hurt so fucking bad. i sobbed like crazy, my eyes turned so puffy. after everyone left for PE, i turned to pe, crying out my heart to her, telling her "i don't even want to be here, anymore." i looked up and saw her eyes red and i can't help feeling i truly don't belong in tpjc. i sobbed pathetically even more when izza came. it's really sad how life is so sad and mundane and lifeless now. really, its stupid how the most important thing in life (by far, singapore) is the one thing that doesn't bring your happiness. all that being said, i know i will get up tomorrow, continue tomorrow like today was. it's really a waste of my time, i believe. the simplest things in life are the happiest things, ah fuck that. because really, you don't get your cert, you don't live here. fuck fuck fuck im pissed and sad and i want to die. |
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nor liyana mohd khalis.i'm always in love with pretty boys. like as if i don't learn from experience, i always give in to sweet words. and i never learn from the past. i'm vulnerable to hurt, but i'd like to believe i'm stronger than i seem. jauh di dasar hatiku, aku tahu aku masih kasihimu dan menyintaimu. namun kau sudah berpunya, kau sudah bercinta. disini kita berakhir, tergantung segala cerita dan kisah lama. wishlist
an arsenal jersey please.to watch a play. tagboard
affiliates
ayn
bani
complexite
dynn
erdiah
ekah
fizah
jass
joyce
maz
matt
nisa
nette
raz
yaya |